through authenticity
Want to find the right one for you?
You achieve this through authenticity — by truly being yourself early, often, and always. This way, you weed out the ones that are looking for something else: the wrong ones.
You want to weed them out.
So you do. Then, eventually, the right one will find you.
It's really that simple.
Now comes the difficult part.
For whatever stupid reason, getting rejected sucks even if it's by a stranger who's not meant for you. It may not be the first rejection, or the tenth. But like small droplets of water, eventually, given enough time, they can wear down a rock.
So what you're really looking for is patience.
Patience to stand your ground when all you get is rejections. To not change or hide yourself no matter how tempting the (empty) approvals might feel in the moment. Because the moment you do, you start attracting the wrong people and filter out the ones you're really looking for.
You need to be (and keep being) the rock. One that might get worn out but doesn't break.
And that's hard.
Authenticity isn't the easy path, but it's the right one.